Comparing yourself to another is like comparing the moon to the sun, the sky to the sea, the waves to the clouds, or the stars in the night sky to the flowers on a summers day. Some things were never meant to be compared, they’re just different and beautifully unique”
~ Founder and writer of www.realpositive.blog
We’re all walking our own, unique journey through life. The path or route we choose to take, will not just affect our lives, but will also impact the lives of others.
At times our journey can be like a walk in the park. Simple. Uncomplicated. Straight forward.
Then there are times when our lives resemble that of walking through the countryside; plenty of ups and plenty of downs. Sometimes the sun is shining and occasionally we get caught out in the rain. Parts of it can be a tiresome trek, while the views can be breath-taking, and what a relief when you’ve been climbing hills for what seems a lifetime – to reach the top and realise the rest of the track is a steady walk downhill. One minute you soak it all up and enjoy the fresh air and the scenery, while at other times you can’t quite catch your breath. You might end up at a crossroads unsure of which path to take. You might not know which route is right for you, and perhaps you never will. Get used to taking two steps forward and three steps back or losing your bearings entirely.
Rarely, and hopefully never, you may enter much more uncertain terrain where you feel in a much darker place. You might compare the current path you’re on to that of climbing Everest. Maybe you welcome it, as you’re a risk taker? Or maybe you took the wrong path and ventured into unwanted territory. This path isn’t for the fainthearted, whether you stumbled upon it by chance, intentionally or as destiny intended. It can be a dark and lonely place with severe weather conditions to tackle. The track is tiresome and steep, sharp corners appear without warning and obstacles trip you up at every bend. The cold weather conditions take its toll, maybe you opt for shelter in the dark forests that lie ahead? But then you can’t see the wood for the trees. Climbing mountains becomes second nature, whether you like the challenge or have a fear of heights. Signposts are barely legible; you don’t know which way to turn. You might be feeling lost or scared? Not everyone makes it off this track, some enter, to never return…
Irrelevant of which path you currently think relates to you and your life, we always seem to think someone else has it better or easier than we do.
Half of the problem, which has been intensified since social media became popular, is how we compare our lives to the lives of others. Instead of focusing on our own journeys, we can get caught up in the journey’s others appear to be leading.
From the outside you may be looking in, thinking; Have they taken a better route than I have? Are they taking shortcuts or cutting corners?
Mental Health & Well-being has been a widely debated topic of late… with even those who appear to “have it all” including fame – taking their own lives. Proof that, no matter what we’re led to believe, smoke and mirrors aside, we never truly know from the outside what hills or obstacles anyone is having to climb.
Our journeys are not meant to be compared. How can you possibly compare two journeys heading in totally different directions? One is heading North the other South. One gets to explore the valleys and its beauties while the other gets the satisfaction of a stunning view from a mountain top.
Your journey is totally unique, just like you. We’re all unique in looks and personality. No two journeys in life will ever be the same and will never be replicated again. Our journeys intertwine, but nobody will take the exact route you have taken beginning to end. No-one can ever take that away from you, and that also means, no other person really understands the journey you’re walking – apart from you. That’s also one of the things that makes our journeys so exciting and so beautiful; it’s like we’re exploring new territory that’s never been discovered, life’s path uniquely carved out for us. We shape it but we don’t share it. Not fully. Not every moment.
Your journey is not guaranteed to be easy. It’s sometimes going to challenge you, push your boundaries and break you BUT you’ll come out the other side a better, stronger… you. Life is a gift, don’t ever let anything get you down to the point that you feel you’ve reached a dead end. The hard times will pass. You might have to cover old ground when you reach that dead end, but you’ll find another route through.
We need to keep this in mind, not just for ourselves and our own Mental Health and Well-being but for others too.
We all can be judgemental, it’s part of human nature… BUT if it’s bordering on pulling others down or just as equally yourself – if it involves constantly casting judgement on others for what they do and what they have, or thinking you’re not good enough – remember, not only would you not appreciate the judgement on yourself, but life would be utterly boring if we were all the same and took the same route. We all have our strengths & weaknesses. Nobody is living the life that you think they are. Embrace being unique and being true to yourself. Stop the comparisons now.
Enjoy your journey, take in the sights and the smells and live for the moment. Sometimes we need to take the scenic route, even if it’s just a through road to get you to where you want to go. Enjoy the ride. Stop wishing life away because you’re focusing on the destination. Live in the present. You may have lessons you need to learn along the way.
So, if you’re currently stood at the foot of your own mountain, whatever your mountain is, know the current pain is only temporary and soon forgotten. Although that climb is hard now, it will be all worth it when you see that view from the top. The higher and harder the climb, the better the view. Once you reach the top, it’s all downhill from there.
It’s funny that, when we’re suffering difficult times and stuck in a difficult situation, it’s normal to feel helpless like there’s no way out. If you’re stood at the foot of a mountain, all you can see is the mountain. When you reach the top, you don’t just get a great view; you get the bigger picture.
Whether the view worth waiting for is a sense of accomplishment, pride, strength, courage, or perhaps a lesson learned, just look out at that view when you reach it and enjoy it. Revel in whatever it is you’ve achieved. Celebrate your achievements. Keep looking forward, not over your shoulder.
Don’t forget, our paths intertwine, so you don’t have to go it alone. Sometimes we need to stick together in order to get through the hard times.
Don’t compare yourself.
Don’t compromise yourself.
Don’t judge a journey without walking it.
How exciting that our journeys can change for the better in a heartbeat. Life’s an adventure and who truly know what’s around the next corner for any of us…